Archive for September, 2011

Hey remember when I used to actually post recipes on my recipe blog? Yeah that was fun. We should try that again sometime.

In the meantime, I feel like writing. Purging. In the non-physical sense, I mean. Although…

JK. We’ve discussed body image issues. No need to revisit. I’m sitting in my (parent’s)house, with what could quite possibly be satan in cat’s clothing, listening to James Taylor and pondering life. It’s all very Carrie Bradshaw, minus the shoes, clothes, and unfortunate nose. You like how I rhymed that? Me too. It was just for you. Once you start it’s hard to stop.

It’s now been exactly two and a half months since I started my new job at the Horeshoe Bay Marriott. Time flies when you’re having fun, I suppose. Or when you’re working sixty hours a week. Whichever. In any case, I sort of love it. I would totally love it if it weren’t for this one menapausal lunatic who’s srsly trying to wreak havoc on my sanity. Crazies love company, or so it seems. Recent observation regarding all jobs: There’s always at least one person who feels the need to make everyone else miserable. And, no offense to my gender or anything, but it’s almost always (in my experience, at least) a woman. Why is it that some women have such difficulty working with other women? Is it a catty sort of thing? Is it an insecurity sort of thing? Is it a manipulative bitch sort of thing? I don’t know and, honestly, I don’t particularly care. I just wish it weren’t so. Anywho, here’s the sitch minus most of the gory details: She was angry at a coworker, I tried to make things right, she redirected her anger at me, and is now telling folks that I stand around and rub butter on people all day. Here are my thoughts regarding this accusation:

A) That’s weird.

B) That’s gross.

C) That’s inappropriate.

D) That’s untrue.

E) That’s weird.

Fortunately for me, everyone seems to know that she’s mildly insane and they pay her and her false, creepy accusations no attention. But really, if you’re gonna spread lies about someone it seems to me that you might actually wanna make them sound a little bit more credible than that. Also, I’m really glad that those two years of theater classes at UT are finally paying off. You should see my polite smile. It’s totes convincing.

In ranch related news, I love living on one. Country life suits me and sitting under the stars and listening to crickets is now my fave past time. Living for free also suits me. Thx, mom&dad. Here’s what doesn’t suit me: I move an hour outside of Austin due to the fact that ninety five percent of my friends have done the same, only to have a few move back and then make several more in the same area. There’s no feeling in the world like regretting decisions you just made. It’s almost soul-crushing. Okay fine, I don’t really regret moving to the boonies. It’s where I want to be in the long run and the goal of having my own bakery out here becomes more tangible every day, but I admit the lonely is hard to keep at bay sometimes.

Speaking of friends that are back in Austin, I was chatting with two of them the other day about lonely. I think it’s safe to say that we all go through seasons in our lives, right? The older I get the more this makes sense to me. Right now I’m in a lonely season. I’ve always been really scared of lonely. But the more I walk through it, the less intimidating it becomes. It sort of reminds me of the sea in that it comes in waves, some bigger than others. It can rage, which completely sucks, but most of the time it’s pretty gentle. I once heard of someone who was so scared of lonely that she married a man she didn’t love in order to prevent ever feeling it. I can only imagine what that sort of thing does to a heart. To both hearts, seeing as how the man she married knew that she wasn’t in love with him. To have to live with that sort of guilt and what I can only imagine to be significant regret, I would take lonely over that any day of the week.

I’ve seen this scenario manifest itself in several people’s lives over the last few months, namely my little brother’s. He was struggling with whether or not to end things with his girlfriend and while we were talking about it late one night he kept asking the same question over and over again: “What if she’s the one?” While I was chatting with two of my besties the other night the same topic presented itself. The one. It sounds so elusive. So unrealistic. I go back and forth with myself trying to figure out where my opinion on the subject really falls. Here’s what I’ve deduced. I fervently believe that God has a plan for each and every one of our lives. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that our lives revolve around finding the one we’re “supposed” to be with. When that happens we begin to lose sight of the bigger picture. Life becomes selfish and petty and that’s when loneliness begins to swell and waves begin to crash. I do believe that some people are meant to be together. I believe that we were made for relationships, both romantic and platonic. I also believe that when God is ready to introduce us to that one person, if there is one, He will. And we will know. It will be clear. No, I have no real experience in this department on which to base these beliefs. My heart just tells me that if we seek God’s counsel, honestly and humbly, He will provide it. But we can’t be looking for the answers we want. That’s the trick, I think. So often I tell God what I’m looking for rather than ask Him what I should be looking for. I phrase it like a question, but really I’m just writing a letter to Santa. “Please give me this and this and this, God,” and then for effect I throw in, “if it’s your will.”

There’s gotta be more meaning to life than just finding a husband or a wife or a good job or a new house or whatever it is we’re looking for at any given moment. It’s all so temporary. Even marraiges that last a lifetime only last one lifetime. We forget about the one to come and how this one carries over. Life becomes about us and if all life is really about is me and my problems, then I’m certain I don’t much care to finish it out. After a while, we all get sick of ourselves. Life is about what happens on the way, not where you end up or who you end up with. If God gives you a spouse, that’s wonderful. But don’t waste all your energy searching for them and certainly don’t settle for someone just because you’re scared nobody else will come along. It’s not fair to anybody and the idea that, in doing so, we could be missing out on plans that the creator of the universe had specifically and perfectly designed for us is enough to send my overanalytical brain into unhinged hysterics.

Okay. I’m about to say something that might make me sound like a total hippie, but I believe it with every fiber of my being: Life is about loving all people. Completely and recklessly. It’s what we’re called to do. If you find someone to marry along the way, sweet. That’s awesome and something to celebrate with a big wedding and a cake made by me for a large but not excessive sum of money. But, and trust me when I say I’m speaking to myself more than anyone, for the literal love of God don’t get so distracted with relationships or the prospect of one that you forget your real purpose in this life. Don’t let the fear of loneliness direct your paths. By the same token, don’t let the fear of commitment keep you from following the right path. It’s a scary balance to strike, and something that I think can only be accomplished with a significant amount of communication with God.

For fear of sounding like an even bigger hippie, I think that the more love you give, the more love you receive. Not in a creepy, let’s all get together and have an orgy way. More in a take the time to get to know people for who they really are and love them for it and regardless of it way. It’s all very cumbaya, I know, but I think there’s something to it. People are fantastic. The more I get to know people, the more I peel back the layers and discover the incredibly tattered and resilient and beautiful souls inside, the more I love them. It’s incredible how different and simultaneously similar we all really are. I love it. And I pray that regardless of how lonley we get, we can always find comfort in knowing that love exists just as strongly outside of romantic relationships as it does within them. I found new people to love this weekend and I’m pretty excited about it. In honor of what were probably three of the best days I’ve had in a very long time, I’m going to actually share a recipe with you tonight. It’s a coffee cake and I highly suggest eating it while sitting on the kitchen floor with people you love.


  • 1-1/2 stick Butter, Softened
  • 2 cups Scant Sugar
  • 3 cups Flour, Sifted
  • 4 teaspoons Baking Powder
  • 1 teaspoon Salt
  • 1-1/4 cup Whole Milk
  • 3 whole Egg Whites, Beaten Until Stiff


  • 1-1/2 stick Butter, Softened
  • 3/4 cups Flour
  • 1-1/2 cup Brown Sugar
  • 2 Tablespoons Cinnamon
  • 1-1/2 cup Pecans, Chopped

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Sift together flour, baking powder, and salt. Beat egg whites and set aside.

Cream butter and sugar. Add flour mixture and milk alternately until combined, being careful not to overmix. Fold in beaten egg whites with a rubber spatula. Spread in a well-greased 9 x 13 or 8″ round baking pan. A cake pan with higher sides would be best.

In a separate bowl, combine topping ingredients with a pastry cutter until crumbly. Sprinkle all over the top.

Bake for 40 to 45 minutes, or until set in the center.

I don’t have a pic but the struesel topping sinks into the cake and creates this beautiful marbled effect throughout the whole thing. It’s delicious and heartwarming and the best midmorning treat I can think of. Love y’all.




Read Full Post »